Category Archives: dating/relationships

Comic-al Sexism (All Love, Volume 26)

 

When last we visited the year 1949 in our comic book time machine, we found a creepy incestuous relationship in All Romances. No matter what these are titled, they all have many of the same elements, as we can see from this one volume of All Love, which was another series published by Ace Comics in the same time period.

So much packed into approximately 37 pages! Such as:

Clueless gents who have no idea how to communicate, and the broads who don’t bother to question them . . .

Fickle bitches who have no sympathy for social anxiety and go out with other dudes for revenge, and the doormat boys who forgive them when they smile sweetly . . .

Even the magazine’s own advice column contradicts itself. In its monthly installment of “Chats on Charm,” they state that not having anything to say in social situations is just fine. But apparently, it can make you a bad date:

all love 26-5

Is it any wonder that, in 2017, people are still confused how to behave?

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The House at Review Corner: Magic Bullets – Or, How to Become a Skeezy Pick-up Artist without actually using the term

As many of my stories tend to begin, I was browsing the internet one night . . . and came across an online set of discussion boards called The Attraction Forums. The top post on there was from a guy opining his issues with women, but it took me a minute to figure this out, as he was using all of these odd word choices, such as “opening,” “closing,” “transitioning.” It sounded like a corporate merger rather than an attempt to get off with a chick. As I continued to scroll, I encountered a lot more of this type of coded language, as well as acronyms I certainly had never seen before.

Enter the world of men’s self-help.

Of course, they will never, EVER call it that, because then it brings it to a woman’s level, and we can’t have that. No, call it a “system,” call it a “model,” but don’t EVER call it self-help. And be sure to include all of this ridiculous acronyms and code-words, so all the dudebros can feel like they’re in this secret frat.

There are so many of these – Love Systems, Mystery Method, Bad Boy Something-or-Other, The Game – but they all have one thing in common: they promise that, if you use their system, and retrain your brain to think in their ways, you will be swimming in tail. Even if you’re not all that hot! (I’ve looked at some of these “gurus” and “masters” online. Some of them are not that hot, but supposedly, they can get any lady they want).

My curiosity was piqued, so I managed to track down a copy of the book. What are guys telling guys about how to pick up women? They claim that they can’t ask women, because, damn it to hell, we don’t know WHAT we want!! Because of course, we’re all the same, and have teensy brains that get exhausted easily.

I honestly was surprised to find a section on “relationships” in this book. Of course, that could also be taken to mean “friends with benefits,” but in the main, this book has one endgame: sex. As a matter of fact, they encourage men to bone the ladies BEFORE pursuing any type of relationship with them.
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The House at Review Corner – Make Every Man Want You

Go to any bookstore (do people still do that?) and you will see hundreds of them – books that fall under the category of “self-help.” Sometimes you will find people standing in these aisles, paperbacks up to their faces, eagerly devouring whatever nuggets they can.

I am not one of these people. I don’t “do” self-help as a general rule, as the very words just make me think of Dr. Phil and his Southern-fried philosophy on “communication.”

Do you point at me, sir? How dare you!!

People change, however.

I don’t delve too much into my personal life on this blog, except where it intersects with my current snark-fest. If you’ve been a reader of BWP for a while, I used to occasionally drop references to “the boyfriend” and then, later, “husband-to-be.” Well, it didn’t work out – and by this, I mean it exploded in my face in a spectacular fashion last year. Suffice to say, I was utterly blindsided and crushed. The verbal bomb was dropped on a Sunday morning (see ‘spectacular fashion’) and I had maybe three humiliating hours in which to take my things and vacate the premises.

Breakups happen; they’ve happened to me. This one has hurt way more than anything else. A good friend recommended a self-help book that she found useful after she had her own relationship crash and burn. I gave it the mental side-eye for a second, but then, I thought, Let this be a new era of Nicole, and give it a try.

Imagine my surprise when I actually found it helpful! I moved on to another one, and that one was also useful in its way.

Of course, there have been horrible ones. Let’s face it: everyone and their cat is some sort of guru or expert these days, and most of it is the same rehashed BS we’ve all heard before. And, getting back to the snark, THOSE are the ones on which we will be focusing for this new occasional segment I’d like to call, The House at Review Corner.

Let’s begin with one I finished last night, entitled Make Every Man Want You: how to be so irresistible you’ll barely keep from dating yourself!

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Life – Psst, you stink!

life-lifebuoy

Lifebuoy soap – good for both men and women, you say? Yes, but let’s look at how sexist this advert is. Ladies, if you don’t use Lifebuoy, you have B.O. and no man will want you. However, no woman says “Ew” about the tough beard stubble of the men in the bottom panels. Even though they SHOULD, because it’s rough and scratchy! Turn the tables, women; just say NO to five o’clock shadow.

—From Life magazine, February 15, 1937

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The Sensuous Woman, a wonderfully dated manual

I struck paydirt again. Months ago, whilst browsing through another book sale room at the library, I found The Sensuous Woman, by “J.” “The number-one bestseller” is emblazoned on the cover. Back cover describes a “secret, step-by-step program that allows every woman to free her body . . . and realize her tremendous feminine capacity for giving and receiving pleasure.” Publication date? 1969. I pretty much dumped out the contents of my purse for fifty cents to purchase this novelty, nestled innocuously in a basket of other less-exciting books (except for one, but we’ll get to it at a later date).

So, who was “J?” Apparently, her real name is Joan Theresa Garrity, and she worked in publishing. She also struggled with bipolar disorder. Not much seems to be known about her, really.

Our author tells us that, even though she’s not considered by conventional standards, and she never dresses provocatively, she still gets lots of men. Basically, this book is a how-to manual for women to embrace their inner sexiness and become what she calls the “sensuous woman.”

Reading this book with a 2012 liberal feminist mindset, some of the statements in this book seem well-known today; some are wildly dated and sexist; and a few are cringe-worthy, knowing what we know about diseases.
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It came from the 1960s! (Life Cycle Library, Part Seven)

Chapter 22 – How Do You Know When It’s Love? I can’t tell you, but it lasts forever. There will come a point, EveryTeen, where you will want to know the answer to this question. You’ve experienced “love” before, but it’s very different when it’s the real thing.

One’s ability to love goes through developmental stages, just as your body does, both physically as well as mentally. No one becomes feet taller overnight, unless you have one of those rapid-growth diseases. Everyone else proceeds at their own pace, and as you grow into your body, so, too, will you “grow into” love.

There are many different types of love. Love of your self (no, not like THAT, you perverts; okay, maybe a little bit), love for your parents, and love for your friends. Someday, you will move beyond these and know the mature love shared by a man and a woman (as no other options are available), and prepare yourself for marriage. As that is the only way to espouse mature love, apparently.

As an infant, you were completely concerned with yourself, you selfish twit. You were absorbed in discovering your fingers and toes and giggling. You peen held a certain fascination that would resurface years later (or perhaps never quite went away). Your family was very focused on taking care of you. This is self-love. You might know some people that are still this way – chronic masturbators. Continue reading

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It came from the 1960s! (Life Cycle Library, Part Six)

Chapter 21 – Parents Watch the Clock. For the clock spider?

As has been said over and over, EveryTeen, you’re growing up and taking on responsibilities; you might even be starting to earn your own money – as a pimp, perhaps. Your parents see these changes in you, and recognize the fact that you are no longer a child. However, they still want to protect you from injury, both physical and emotional. They want to steer you away from dumb decisions that could spoil your future, or cause you to drop out. Which would spoil your future. Which is redundant.

So, what sorts of things are your parents concerned about? It’s a big, bad world out there, and the further you venture out from home base, EveryTeen, the more influence others have on you. Your parents worry about automobile safety, whether it’s you or someone else behind the wheel. Many teens get involved in accidents, whether or not there is alcohol involved. (According to this book, in 1968, 4.4 million persons under 20 years of age were involved in accidents. Think of it; this is long before texting and even CD players)! So, they will definitely warn you against participation in Lifestyles of the Drunk and Reckless. Continue reading

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