The “Truth” About Stacey, Part Three

Chapter 11. The sandwiches return -I mean, the boards. Stacey will be missing out on this, however, as that is the weekend she meets New Doctor.

Stacey watches Jamie, who is mopey. She thinks it’s because his baby sister is getting all the attention, but it’s really because his new baby-sitters watch TV, talk on the phone, and burn the couch with cigarettes rather than, you know, watch the kid. Stacey is appalled and tells him to tell his mother all about it. Seriously, how does the mother not know about the cigarettes, if they’re smoking on the couch? You can smell it, especially in a non-smoking house. Sometimes these characters are so obtuse.

Stacey gets home to find that Charlotte has been asking for her. Stacey is pleased because she wants to ask Dr. Johansson to recommend a sensible doctor for Stacey to use in combating her parents’ craziness.

Charlotte is very quiet, which concerns her mother. She knows it’s school-related, which is true. Her new baby-sitters are sucky and don’t want to play with her. Charlotte thought that her baby-sitters were her friends, but one of the little bitches at school burst her bubble. Stacey convinces her that, for her at least, it’s not about the money, it’s the kids. And Dr. Johansson has a doctor for Stacey, so overall, she’s doing well, I guess.

Chapter 12. Stacey calls an emergency meeting – at school. Horrors! It’s mainly to fill the other girls in on the shitty agency, and that they should tell the kids to speak up about the Bad Sitters.

After school, they find Jamie playing outside in the cold, by himself, very near the street. He doesn’t have a hat or mittens. Of course, it’s not Mrs. Newton being neglectful, it’s his babysitter. The girls are unsure what to do – because if they talk to the parents, it looks like sour grapes. They wonder if they should ask their own parents for advice on the matter. Which they do, and, pretty much unanimously, they’re told to inform on the person, especially because it could be putting a child in danger.

The girls go to Mrs. Newton and tell her what’s going on, and she is appropriately horrified. She thought that Jamie was unhappy due to the new baby. She promises to call the other parents about this agency. Kristy asks if they can be the ones to talk to Liz and Michelle, the heads of the agency, to settle the score. Hoo boy!

Chapter 13 The girls have a showdown in the Bitch homeroom. It devolves into Twenty Questions About Kids You Have Sat For- what’s so-and-so’s favorite game? Et cetera. So what? sayeth Michelle. You’re better than we are? Leave us alone.

So they do. Did we win? They have no idea! Ha ha ha! This was abominably stupid.

Stacey goes to New York for the weekend, where she discovers they’re staying with Laine and her parents – and this makes Stacey mad, because she’s sure that Laine still hates her. Laine tries to talk to her, but Stacey storms off. Wow, that was mature.

Stacey goes to see the new doctor, who gives her a barrage of tests. Then she tells her parents about the doctor she found with Dr. Johansen’s help. Her parents don’t seem to like this, especially because it was sprung on them, but, as Stacey points out, they do this to her all the time. Suddenly, her mother seems to recall that this Dr. Graham is “supposed to be excellent,” so they hurry up to get Stacey to this appointment.

Dr. Graham tells Stacey’s folks that Stacey seems to be doing just fine, without all of these new doctors. Stacey makes them realize that all of this change is what’s setting her back. They resolve to include Stacey in her healthcare decisions – which, yeah, she’s twelve, I’d say it’s about damned time!

Chapter 14. Stacey and Laine and their parents go to a movie. Laine and Stacey fight – then apologize. Laine doesn’t understand why Stacey never told her the truth about her illness, but Stacey’s parents wanted to keep it a secret. Laine was jealous of all the attention Stacey was getting; and she also believed some asshole in their class who said that Stacey was contagious. All of this sounds utterly idiotic, but isn’t middle-school, as a rule, idiotic? I can see this happening now, honestly. The girls end up missing the entire movie, catching up. Stacey feels unburdened, both by the fight with Laine and the kooky Dr. Barnes.

The final weight is the shitty Agency. Mrs. Newton was very busy over the weekend, calling a bunch of parents and telling them about the Bad sitters. So, everything is good again – they won the battle and the war! Claudia passes around gumdrops, and a sad package of crackers for Stacey.

Chapter 15. Laine calls Stacey, to find out what happened with the agency. We find out that the Bitches have a new business already . . . doing makeovers. Stacey and Laine squeal over Stacey getting to sit for the Newtons’ new baby. And Charlotte Johansen is being skipped into third grade. And Stacey went to the dance with Pete, and she’s getting a phone for Christmas!

Stacey decides that, when Laine comes to visit Stacey will make her an honorary member of the BSC. Awww! Don’t pee the bed now!

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