Chapter Five, which I like to call “Hints and Tips and ‘True Facts.'”
Long courtships are almost as bad as hasty marriages.
The healthiest children are born in February through May.
Twins can have different fathers. If one birth precedes another by a month or so, you can be sure that there was an adulterous union involved.
Blondes make the most affectionate wives.
If you’re a writer, and especially a poet, don’t get married, as man cannot serve the muses and his wife together.
A lack of a hymen does not necessarily mean a woman is not a virgin, as it could have been lost due to illness. However, this is rare, and if the maiden’s blood doesn’t stain those sheets the first night of consummation, she better have a damned good explanation!
A sure cure for consumption is marriage, but this is mainly for females. For males, it tends to hasten their deaths.
Hermaphrodites are not real.
Black people have an inky fluid like carbon under their skin, and that is why they are dark.
A woman’s eyes give away the fact that this is “in the family way” before her body does. To hide this, snuff can be taken, which stops the eyes from looking glassy.
Celibacy does not make you smarter. You’re better off giving in to your desires, in moderation, of course.
If you want children, move to a colder climate. The amorous embrace seems to be even more effective there.
Ladies, if your menses are giving you trouble, you’ve more than likely been jilted. Fall in love with another and that’s sure to cure your problem. Failing that, take a dip in the sea and some syrup of ipecac.
Races where puberty comes earliest tend to be the least intellectual, and closest to animals.
Porter, mixed with milk, is great for babies. [I kind of want to make this into a T-shirt now.]
Even though woman is the “passive agent” in procreation, she is supposed to be able to enjoy it more, but this is never been proven.