Fifty Shades Fucking Ridiculous, Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty. Ana is pregnant, because she’s a vapid, empty-headed bimbo who couldn’t remember to get her birth control. And where is Christian to nag and remind her? I’m surprised he doesn’t have it all scheduled in his phone, considering how controlling he is. Really, though, she has a Blackberry AND a human personal assistant. I hate this much contrivance.

Ana’s demon baby is four or five weeks along. Ana is shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you. She obviously wasn’t paying attention when the doctor explained about all of the particulars about Depo-Provera. She’s worried that Grey will freak out. And then she tries to pin the blame on her PA; bitch, don’t even go there. It’s your own fault.

Grey keeps asking her what’s wrong, but she won’t tell him. And she also hasn’t eaten; that does wonders for the embryo. Grey finally pushes her enough at dinner, and she drops the bomb. He roars at her about how she is being so stupid, and wonders if she did it on purpose. His eyes have changed to flint, so he’s blind, but then they blaze; he’s just a wonder of nature, isn’t he? “Anger emanates off him like a force field” because he wandered onto the set of <i>Star Trek</i>. He shouts at her about control; he likes it because then things like this don’t happen. He’s not ready for this, so he leaves. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s for good.

Mrs. Jones, the housekeeper, offers to get her tea, but she wants wine.

It’s pretty common knowledge you shouldn’t be drinking. Twenty-two, my ass; this girl is fourteen if she’s a day. Ana doesn’t know what to do, and thinks Grey is overreacting. Um, NO, I don’t think so. You had ONE JOB, little bobblehead . . .

Grey returns much later, and very drunk. He passes out in bed after leering at Ana and whining that she’s choose the baby over him. Ana picks up his phone and sees a text from Elena/Mrs. Robinson; apparently, he paid her a visit. Oh, her again? I thought we were done with this shit.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Fifty Shades Fucking Ridiculous, Chapter Twenty

  1. “I thought we were done with this shit.”
    We’re never done with this stuff. Never.

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