Fifty Shades Fucking Ridiculous, Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine. The gun Ana found was Leila’s (Casperella). Grey doesn’t know anything about guns, and doesn’t want to learn. Casperella is doing better; Ana is irrationally jealous when her name is mentioned. At work, they banter over email. It’s nauseating.

Grey goes to New York on business. Co-Dependent Ana misses him sooo much. Don’t worry, that’s what email is for! And annoying telephone banter. Grey doesn’t want her to go out with Kate, and makes her promise to stay in. Of course, Kate talks her into one cocktail at the bar. Kate tells Ana that all of the Greys have additional security. Ana has a second drink. Foreshadowing sits in the corner, playing a game on a mobile phone while nursing a beer. Kate and Ana gossip. Ana has four drinks. When they drop Kate off, Dirpy Ana finally checks her phone. Grey has called her five times, and sent her an email. He is beyond angry.

When security detail drives her back to Castle Greyskull, they find it trashed and Jack, Ana’s old sleazy boss, is inside. Maybe that’s how Grey wanted you gone? Now THAT would be an ending!

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