Fifty Shades Fucking Ridiculous, Chapter Six

Chapter Six. Ana requests something rough, but now she seems embarrassed by it. NOW, seriously? These characters vacillate too much. Then she tells him to “surprise” her, so they head for the playroom. I’m so sick of Grey tugging on her braided hair. That is not pleasant.

Oh, apparently, this is the butt-plug scene. “Oh, jeez,” as she says whilst doing it with the implement between them. Whatever. Then they indulge in stupid banter. Ana sees a bowl containing the plug, a tube of lube, the blindfold, and her underwear, and it makes her think to ask who cleans the toys. He does it himself, or has Mrs. Jones [the housekeeper] do it. Does he just hand her the bowl, or what? Does she have special elbow-length rubber gloves just for sex-toy-washing? Is there hazard pay involved? Apparently, when he had subs, they used to do it.

They take a bath, and Grey tells her that she doesn’t have to go back to work. Because she’s rich now, you see, and isn’t like the rest of us who have to toil for a living. Ana doesn’t want to argue about it again.

Ana gets her clothes from the playroom and takes the butt-plug as well. She runs into Mrs. Jones on her way out, and Ana blushes when she offers to take the pile from Ana’s arms. She scurries into the library to work. Conveniently, she’s now the editor at the publishing company, not just a temporary replacement. How nice. Fucking the head honcho does have its advantages. She’s not going to change her name at work, but hasn’t told Grey yet.

Ana uploads the honeymoon pictures and sees some that Grey took while she was asleep, sucking on her thumb. Aren’t you twenty-two? Might want to seek some therapy. Anyway, the pictures of Grey overwhelm her and she has to go, right this minute, to make sure he’s okay.

Grey is looking at the security camera footage from the server room fire, and Ana recognizes the man as her old skeezy boss, Jack. Holy crap and jeez!

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