Fifty Shades Dumber, Chapter Seven.

Chapter Seven. She fondles him during the rest of the bids. They’re going to leave to take care of things, but Mia, Grey’s sister, drags Ana away to some other auction. Is he going to sell her now? It’s for their first dances, apparently. Ana’s Multiple Personality Disorder kicks in, and different Anas argue over stupid shit. Ana finds out from Mia that Grey was always fighting in his teen years, and was expelled twice. It stopped when he was fifteen. “Another piece of the jigsaw falls into place.” Wow, you’re so smart. Not.

Grey bids $10k for a dance with her. But he has a counter-bid with some mystery man. Grey’s final bid is $100,000. Seriously? He takes her out the back way and up to his old bedroom. And then he spanks her, as requested. And then they fuck. And she is “spiraling into a healing orgasm that . . . wrings me out” (like one of those Libman mops?) “and leaves me spent and breathless.”

There’s a picture of a woman on his corkboard. She is “no one of consequence,” according to Grey. Victim #1, perhaps? So, why is she there? More stupid secrecy that really has no play. They head back downstairs and dance. The mystery man cuts in. It’s Dr. Flynn, <s>Medicine Woman</s>, Grey’s therapist. He makes a joke about Grey. When Grey returns, Ana “teases” by saying Dr. Flynn told her everything. He replies that he’ll get her things because she’s not going to stick around after that. He’s very relieved when she says she wasn’t told anything. Um, hello, doctor/patient confidentiality? This. Should. Concern. You. but instead, she puzzles that it makes no sense.

On her way to the restroom, she’s intercepted by Mrs. Robinson. Mrs. R. says that she knows what Ana thinks of her, but wants her to know that Grey is in love with her (Ana). She doesn’t know if he realizes it himself yet, because he’s negative and feels unworthy. Mrs. R. wishes them the best, but then says, “But what I wanted to say is, if you hurt him again, I will find you, lady, and it won’t be pleasant when I do.” Ana laughs at the absurdity of it all, and that angers the older woman more.

Ana suddenly grows a spine – Enuck-chuck! – and backtalks her, ending with calling her a molester, and stalks out, leaving Elena/Mrs. R. open-mouthed behind her. She tells Grey about the threat, and he’s amused. Cute. You deserve each other. When Ana returns from the restroom, Grey is on the phone with Elena, telling her to butt out. Grey tries to reiterate that Elena and he are just friends; all the rest is in the past.

Mr. Grey, Senior, dances with Ana. She sees this as an opportunity to get dirt on Christian. He was mute for two years after the “incident.” The piano helped him to heal. Were you watching the Campion film while writing this? Mr. & Mrs. Grey are very excited to see him so happy, and it’s all thanks to Ana. Aw, don’t fuck it up, Ana.

They watch the fireworks. They’re waiting to leave after the rest of the crowd, for security purposes. Grey distracts her by bantering about the bid on Aspen. Then he tells her Dr. Greene is coming over the next day to “sort [her] out.” Cute. Totally not scary at all.

Ana receives a note from Elena, hand-delivered by a lackey. Elena wants Ana to call her, and she’d like to help “fill in the blanks.” Are they going to play Mad Libs? Christian Grey is a _____ <adjective> _______<noun>. Grey is not pleased.

Back at Grey’s place, Ana’s car tires have been cut and someone threw paint all over it. Has Leila got you on your knees yet? They wait while the bodyguards sweep the apartment. Grey decides to go inside as well. Ana asks him to stay but he tells her to “do as you’re told.” Okay, DAD.

Oh-hoh no! Is he gonna die? (Please)?

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1 Comment

Filed under romance novel

One response to “Fifty Shades Dumber, Chapter Seven.

  1. My god, this book. I don’t know how you stand it. It’s just abysmal.

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