Fifty Shades Dumber, Chapter Six.

Chapter Six. Wait, still fucking. It’s the same as always – he’s violent to her nips, he touches her “sex,” et cetera. She watches him “come apart” under her. Shall we call all the king’s horses and men now, or do you want to wait? Ana enjoys herself – “this is what he does so well.” Sure, at the expense of other things that might be more important. She “counter[s] his rhythm in perfect symmetry.” What does that even mean? You’re bouncing around up top – that’s all we need to know (or, rather, I don’t wanna know ANY of it, but anyway).

“I come audibly, exhaustingly, spinning down and around.” Sounds like it might be your inner ear – maybe you should see a doctor about that. He tells her she’s beautiful, but she doesn’t believe him. He lists all the guys he’s seen that are hot for her. He emphasizes that she’s his. You are just scary, man; there’s no need to keep saying this much. Sign of insecurity.
Ana wants to touch the parts that are outlined. He’s still apprehensive; so why did you go through all that trouble if . . . ugh, never mind. It was obviously just an excuse to bed her again. He even bites her finger! Then reiterates his hatred of condoms, and has a “good mind” to call the doc to give her a shot. This.Is.Not.Sexy.

No one has touched him except Mrs. Robinson. Well, this is part of the trust game, bro. She only touches three small areas before he’s ready to go again. Look, I know this is fantasy, buuuut guys don’t rebound that quickly. So, I hope no woman is taking that seriously.

Ana contemplates why Grey is fucked up while she showers and gets ready. “He’s crazy for me.” Yes, but in a scary way. He comes upon her while she’s dressing. He leers, and then takes the ben-wa balls from his pocket. He wants her to “wear” them to the event. And she agrees, even though he’s not going to spank her afterward, like he did last time.

He makes her fellate his finger, then puts the balls in. The ben-wa, not his own. Then he gives her diamond earrings. And a feathered mask, as that’s the type of ball it is. Is this going to be some sort of <i>Eyes Wide Shut</i> bacchanal?

They drive to the party, Grey doing his damnedest to make Ana squirm whenever possible. She gets introduced to lots of people at the swank party. OMG, there are ice swans, so you KNOW it’s swish. Grey’s family is gushy. Ana is embarrassed to not have any money at a charity event. Grey pays for her, of course, and is annoyed that she says she’ll pay him back.

Later, she becomes “uncomfortable” from the balls, and he offers to show her to the restroom, but his sister insists, which means they can’t bone. Oh, gee, that’s too bad. The auction begins, and Grey has put up a weekend stay in Aspen. Apparently, he owns property there. He’s annoyed that she asks. She bids on the trip – twenty-four thousand (which, if you recall, is the amount he creepily wired into her account). And she wins. Oh, he’s not gonna be happy about that. You might get your spanking, after all!


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