The “Truth” About the Toy Industry, Reprise (Part Ten)

Chapter 10 – The Barbarization of Our Children. This chapter discusses violent toys. He considers Transformers “war toys,” and posits that the cartoon featuring them is “the most violent cartoon on television.” Wait, didn’t you already say that about Dungeons and Dragons?

Through these cartoons, children see acts of aggression and violence as normal. “Do we want children to believe that guns and sorcery are an important part of everyday life?” Phillips asks. Well, if the child lives in the inner-city, guns are already part of his life, and he’s probably already desensitized to whatever sort of violence is featured on this week’s episode of Voltron.

He cautions parents against exposing their children unnecessarily to violence and occult, just because they want the kids to face reality. He quotes John 15:19, the passage that says, “Christians are not of the world, because [H]e has chosen us out of the world.” Does this make them aliens, then?

AS you shouldn’t associate with “unbelievers,” so, too, should your children be barred from those toys which “glorify Satan.” For man cannot serve two masters, and if you let your child play with She-Ra, that is exactly what you are trying to do.

He keeps repeating himself. Violence is bad, mmmkay? Violent toys increase aggression. Do you want that sort of behavior in your children? Look, even Dr. Joyce Brothers agrees with him! When will you listen to Christian reason?

And Russia was not concerned about our nuclear weapons, but they feared American kids walking around in military fatigues. He claims to have heard this from a reporter, presumably from Conspiracy Theorist Weekly. “This is a cause of alarm for them (Russians), because they barbarize their children and they understand the power in it.” Submitted without further comment.

And now, let’s zoom in on a few specific toys about which Phillips has not yet warned us.

Crystlar. He means “Crystar.” This is the second time he has been this sloppy, so I am pondering if it is deliberate, leaving the lazy AND easily-swindled parent (a nearly lethal combination) to just believe what is related here and not feel the need to draw her own conclusions. Anyway. Crystar has “so much occult,” he says, “it almost becomes redundant.” You mean, like most of your book?

Crystalium is a magical realm, ruled by two brothers, Crystar and Moltar (and not, apparently, the one that was on Space Ghost). Choosing between order and chaos is much like Zen Buddhism. The use of crystals is bad news all around. Necromancy is communing with the dead; this will not let you inherit the kingdom of Heaven, for the will is torn up the minute you gaze into that gypsy’s ball.

Power Lords. Without even discussing any of the toys’ attributes, he proclaims them blasphemous, solely based on their name, as it implies that these figures are god’s equals.

These figures are “gruesome,” Phillips tells us; they transform into beasts and aliens. The book of Genesis tells that god created man in his own image; however, maybe we are all aliens and beasts, but haven’t yet learned to harness our powers . . . .

Garbage Pail Kids. He finds these horrible, “a mockery of everything that is cute and innocent.” They certainly do not embrace the ideas of love and friendship!

Voodoo Reagan dolls. These existed? The only information I can find about ones you could actually purchase is here, in the blurb featured on this Flickr photo I found, which was taken at the National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C. An “actual voodoo hex” is used to complete the curse against the (now late) Prez, and this sort of enchantment is verboten in the Bible. I would have an issue with this sort of thing being marketed to children, just in general, but I guess since Phil’s platform is all-Jesus-all-the-time, he’s gotta put everything through that lens.

Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstones. This adventure line for girls encourages the female sex to involve themselves in war play. Don’t be fooled by the idea that the doll accessories/weapons can be worn as jewelry – it’s still barbarous!

Build a Guillotine. Part of a series of books published by Perigree Books, entitled The Way Things Work, one in particular tells the reader how to make guillotines and catapults. What kind of fool parents would let their children play with this thing? First it’s dolls they’re decapitating, next it’s their brother or sister’s head under the blade! Okay, if Phillips had actually spent any time actually seeking out this book, he would know that this is utter bullshit. See this link for the exact book in question. The book did include a kit for you to make your own guillotine, yes – out of PAPER! It’s not even a toy, to my mind; it’s more along the lines of model cars and ships in bottles. But remember, Jesus does not advocate decapitation, so you shouldn’t, either.

Godbox For only $14.95, you can have your very own direct line to god via a wooden box. Obviously, this is blasphemous, as one can call on god at any time without an intermediary.

He also uses one sentence to denigrate Zork, Zeus, Quest, and Dungeons of Death. Violence, occult symbols, and right in your own home on your Atari 800 or Commodore 64 computer! There is no escape; Satan is everywhere!

Next up – a chapter devoted solely to D & D. I was wondering when this would show up!

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1 Comment

Filed under religious nuttery

One response to “The “Truth” About the Toy Industry, Reprise (Part Ten)

  1. Wait, Phil doesn’t like Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstones? What does he have against Rue McClanahan?

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