It came from the 1960s! (Life Cycle Library, Part Five)

Chapter 20 – Necking, Petting, and Sexual Feelings. In other words, the chapter EveryTeen automatically skipped to, I’m sure.

What is happening to my body? What are these “wonderful thrills and chills?” Why, those are from your genitals – they’re alive!

Boys, you will begin to sprout hair in places where none grew before. And your feelings towards girls will do a 180° turn. Just thinking about ’em is gonna make ya hard, so focus on coursework in class, lest your fantasies cause you to do a walk of shame to the blackboard.

Now, girls, you get different and exciting changes, too. Instead of growing up, you will grow out. Welcome to the Boob Brigade – get thee to Macy’s for a bra-fitting (ask for Winifred; her hands were dunked in a vat of liver-spots, it’s true, but she’s very gentle and accurate with her tape measure). As if breasts weren’t bad enough, you also get to bleed. That’s right, BLEED, for several days a month, every month, for the next forty or so years! Disturbing? Why, yes!

We’ve discussed the social aspects of dating in previous chapters. The emotional aspects have a tendency to creep up on you, EveryTeen – that “sweet, soft glow.” Is this love? That you’re feeling? Is this THE love that you’ve been searching for? Probably not (so you’re dreaming), as one doesn’t fall in adult-style love at your age; those feelings take time to develop (and some people never make it there).

Sex drive is very powerful. In nature, its sole goal is reproduction. Humans differ from other animals because we will engage in sex for the pleasure it brings, as well as its procreative purpose. In addition, animals will mate with any of the opposite sex they find, whereas we are free to choose and reject partners at any time. Finally, even though humans become physically able to propagate the species at a rather young age, they don’t (ah, sweet naïveté). Both parents must look after a child for many years, for no single parents exist. Even though this book is not religious, EveryTeen, premarital sexual intercourse is still frowned upon. “Marriage” is a term bandied about much in this short chapter.

Couples begin to express their feelings for each other in physical ways. Holding hands begets a kiss or two. This might beget necking and petting, which is when conflicts may begin to arise. As one gets more aroused, one’s self-control has a tendency to flag. If you abstain from intercourse, you will experience frustration. If you heed your body’s call, you might feel guilt once it’s over.

The reason for this, EveryTeen, is because you are only indulging your adolescent pleasures. You are not ready for marriage and adult love (however, “adult love” is what’s on the menu here). One cannot have emotionally satisfying sex outside the confines of a committed relationship, of course. This also implies that as soon as rings and vows are exchanged, the two people in this relationship suddenly mature.

Premarital shenanigans go against nearly ever moral and religious code. However, don’t feel as if these strictures are meant to restrict you from having a good time – consider them as “signposts along the road” of life, telling you to slow down or stop. What about Yield? “School Zone” is probably in a much different book . . . and also probably illegal.

Masturbation shall be discussed very briefly here. Pretty much every boy does it; many girls do, too (kudos to the editors for acknowledging this, however briefly). It’s perfectly natural and causes no harm; however, mental conflict might arise. If you consider it morally wrong to handle your junk, you may experience guilt. Keep in mind, also, that masturbation, much like a Snickers bar, satisfies – but not completely. Even on a daily basis, it’s not a substitute for sex with another person.

Masturbation does not cause homosexuality, either, so rest free and easy (perhaps with a hand down your Y-fronts). Homosexuals are those persons who are attracted to those of their own sex. And everyone experiments in their younger days, or at least fantasizes about it. This is normal, and usually temporary. “The vast majority of young people develop normal sexual tendencies” as they get older. If you’re in the minority, EveryTeen, stay closeted, if you know what’s good for you. Just a few more years, be patient . . .

The key word here, boys and girls, is responsibility. Boys, you are prone to sudden, intense sexual feelings. Be mindful of your date, as she may not be ready or willing to participate. Girls, don’t get carried away with your flirting; you’re talking to a raging hormone. It might seem innocent, but watch for that red flag – yes, the very same.

You have a responsibility to yourself and others to keep it in your pants! And, remember, there is more to life than sex (but most other things aren’t as fun).

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1 Comment

Filed under dating/relationships, sex ed books, sex education

One response to “It came from the 1960s! (Life Cycle Library, Part Five)

  1. “Is this love? That you’re feeling? Is this THE love that you’ve been searching for?”

    There’s a dirty Whitesnake joke just begging to go in this article somewhere…

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