What a Young Boy Ought to Know, by Sylvanus Stall (Part Three)

Cylinder 3. Plant reproduction. He actually gets all scientific, talking about corn sex. No mention of the sleepy little seed-children, however. Only women are interested in such poetry, of course.

Cylinder 4. Cold-blooded creatures of the sea. Stall is only slightly more direct when he mentions semen. Dr. Wood-Allen delicately referred to it as the “product of life,” and he gets a bit more descriptive when he calls it a “slimy substance which also resembles the white portion of a raw hen’s egg.” Yeah, that’s about right. He tells “Harry” of the way baby oysters are produced, some of the lowest organisms on the planet. Oh, they don’t know about amoebas yet. And then the fish, of course, who are also orphans from the day they are born. And isn’t that sad? *sniffle*

Cylinder 5. Where birdies come from! I suppose as this is written for boy’s eyes, it’s perfectly okay for him to own that sometimes the baby birds will not be able to reproduce, because they are SHOT, right down in their prime! He admits that it is a bit heartless and cruel, so I would wager that he was not a hunter, or a very reluctant one.

Now, we are speshul higher life forms, so we are nurtured within the mother’s body, and we take a very long time to grow and develop into maturity, the fullness of which is reached, Stall says, at 25 years of age (!) But, this is ordained by God, so that we can be lord and master over everything. By the power of Greyskull.

Cylinder 6. Wherein actual, technical terms for human fertilization are mentioned. And he not only name-checks Dr. Wood-Allen, he quotes liberally from a booklet of hers on how babies are born. The apple dumpling reference is once again made, and here, Wood-Allen’s mother figure is having a conversation with her young son, so I find it even weirder than the first time it was mentioned; would the “son” really know about how a pastry is made, or even really care? Men didn’t cook in those days. Methinks she’s reaching a bit for the sake of clarity. Or something.

Cylinder 7. “Harry’s” dad writes to Stall and asks him to please continue the talks. He natters on a bit about heredity, what little he knows of it, and cautions the young man that he should not abuse his body. More on that in part 2. I await it gleefully.


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