Fifty Shades Fucking Ridiculous, Chapter Four

Chapter Four. Ana wants to go shopping, and takes the jet ski, lying to Taylor about the clearance from Grey. And, because she’s a fucking moron, she just HAS to cruise around the boat and is spotted by Christian. Taylor has an uncomfortable conversation with her about Grey not wanting her on the jet ski. Stupid conversation AND email ensues between the Greys.

Ana shops at a cheaper stores to buy herself an anklet. For she’s not totally comfortable with all of her wealth, you see. She calls José for advice about cameras. She gives Grey a Nikon, thinking he might want to take his own tabloid – I mean, tasteful photos of her. He doesn’t understand why she would want to be objectified. He’s confused, and she babbles, about her wrists, and all the shit that’s been happening, and he sits, mute. So Ana starts taking pictures of him, and Mr. Bipolar begins swinging back. He takes pictures of him pinned beneath him. And then they do it. Of course. And they repeat their wedding vows to each other. Gag. This leads Grey to reveal the fire was arson, which worries him that they’re not safe. Good, die already. I am sick of the banter, and the always-perfect sex, and the constant references to his hot body, his glowing eyes, et cetera.

Ana chats online with Kate. Kate heard about the fire, too. She asks after the “ex-Dom,” which annoys Ana. Well, it’s true, right? Although people never really change all that much . . . And then Ana has a nightmare about losing him, her deepest fear. Why can’t this be foreshadowing?

3 Comments

Filed under romance novel

3 responses to “Fifty Shades Fucking Ridiculous, Chapter Four

  1. Matthew Green

    Glowing eyes? Vampire!

  2. And so this series continues to make the Twilight Saga look competent. That is…quite an achievement, in its own way.

  3. So I stumbled upon your blog by accident (by accident, I of course mean I was looking up Henry Cavill) and this is freaking hilarious! I’m literally laughing out loud. I too have read the Fifty shades….but “the perfect sex scenes” and Christian’s expert fingers really got on my nerves. This is hilarious, keep it up!

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